Private chat is okay but I'm not interested in cybersex. I like real sex, and I like shooting the breeze, but virtual sex leaves me cold.
I don't hang out in chat rooms only for sex. In fact, as often than not I'm actually here just to chat. Chatting can be as much fun as sex, and you can keep it up longer.
I earn my living, such as it is, as a writer and editor. The last several years I've been working mostly with scientific material aimed at lay readers. I'm currently working on the Peninsula.
Have a wonderful lover (rdanee). Open relationship. We play separately or together.
I'd love to find a regular bondage buddy. That's something I haven't had in a while, and bondage is a hell of a lot hotter when two people hit it off and experiment over a series of encounters. Not that I object to one-timers, mind you, and not that connecting with a lot of different kinds of guys isn't wonderful. But if I had my choice, I'd rather find one good bondage bottom for an ongoing relationship than an unlimited number of one-time-onlies.
It's hard to define what such a person would be like. Not necessarily experienced, but certainly adventurous. Ideally I guess he'd be fond of being fucked (sometimes long and hard), fond of giving long slow blow jobs, able to handle some moderate S&M play. Even more important would be a mental and/or spirit connection, someone who I'd also enjoy going out with for coffee after the scene is over.
Lately I've been getting interested in Taoist sexual exercises and practices. I've found them both enjoyable and helpful in boosting my energy levels. It gets complicated and weird and hard to explain, but at the most basic level, it's about ejaculating less often. (But not about having less sex.)
I'm totally open to making nonsexual friendships with guys who share some of my interests: theater, opera, singing (I'm a bass-baritone), reading and writing, religion and spirituality, classical music, mathematics, languages -- I guess those are some of my major interests these days. I love to schmooze over a latte. I love to dig into the smaller points of a subject (that's a kind way of saying I'm hyperanalytical) and I have been known to talk too much when I'm excited about a subject. I enjoy board and card games, too, and all sorts of puzzles.
Major turn-off: People who complain in the chat rooms that the conversation is boring them. Like it's my job to keep some guy amused so he doesn't have to go to the trouble of making interesting conversation himself. That's what television is there for.
A lot of people ask me where the nickname comes from. It comes from an old parlor game that divides everyone into day cats, day dogs, night cats, and night dogs. So it actually doesn't mean anything sexually. This is not to imply that I don't like it doggie style, however.
If you're curious about bondage but have never tried it, I've put down a few words about it here.
I get asked a lot about how big my cock is, or what physical type turns me on. I guess every gay guy does. I wish I had more interesting answers. My cock is maybe a little bit above average in size, but not by much, so if that's important to you, you're not likely to be either particularly disappointed or particularly delighted. (It's also dappled -- my only birthmark.)
I don't have a lot of interest in body parts, myself. Cock size, chest size, ass size, those are all pretty minor factors in deciding if I'll play with someone. I'd much rather play with a guy who maybe isn't my ideal physical type but with whom I feel a friendly mental or spiritual connection. For me a good physical connection usually springs from a good heart connection. If I don't feel a heart connection, I'm not likely to be interested. I like thoughtful guys, guys who think about what's behind the surface of things. I like guys I can learn things from, and who can learn from me. We're all of us so different and we have so much to show each other if we can figure out how to bridge the chasms between us.
Age isn't a big deal for me, and I've had good times with guys ranging from college age to their early 60s, as long as they're in good mental and physical health. I've gained a lot from close friendships and chance encounters with guys at all sorts of stages in their lives. I think gay men of all ages have a lot to learn from each other. Our society has changed so fast in its attitudes toward us that the world I grew up in is much different than the world someone 10 or 15 years older grew up in, or the one someone 10 or 15 years younger grew up in. Our perceptions are often very different as a result, and just comparing notes with someone a decade away in age one way or the other can be an eye-opening thing. Sometimes that includes physical intimacy, other times just coffee. It's all good. I don't really understand men who say they're only interested in meeting men of a particular body type and within a particular narrow age range in order to have one particular kind of encounter.
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